Emotional range

Knowing more languages increases the range of emotion one feels

Things are often lost in translation and what exists in one culture as a "thing" doesn't necessarily exist in another culture. There is a type of frustration (짜증나) that exists in Korean culture where the word for it in English: frustration is a poor imitation of the depth of what it means in Korean. The word for troublesome (めんどくさい）in Japanese that similarly cannot convey the same kind of feeling.

When we look at Saussure and subsequent thinkers (linguists, theorists, or whatever you want to label them), they claim that emotion, things, etc. cannot exist without the word existing. In essence, that something that does not have a name cannot exist. That's a poor, diluted version of what they are saying, but I find there to be quite some truth in it. It's almost as if I didn't have those range of feelings without knowing what it is.

Perhaps this is why people say one should travel. The range of experiences, the range of words that one is exposed to, and the type of thinking that it engenders allows one to be more open-minded (which is I think what it boils down to - we learn to see and accept other cultures and in turn, accept other ways of thinking that we previously would have been unaware of, or closed to).

This feels half-baked. There's more to it, I think, but it's interesting how powerful language is.

Explosions

Today's thought-project: explosions are fascinating things. I think that what I didn't understand (and to a certain extent, I still don't) are how explosions work.

I mean think for a second. A tiny bomb detonates, and suddenly power quite literally explodes out of that little package. It's like a punch from every conceivable direction and my question becomes: where does the power come from? The obvious answer, which is through a chemical reaction, does make sense, but how does it release such power? Again, yes, science explains the mechanics, but it has to do with bonds and the energy contained in bonds and when the bonds are broken and recreated, something explodes. Of course I'm probably misunderstanding some of the science, since I don't quite know, nor care really, to actually find the answer. I suppose it's the thought behind the explosion.

So much energy was put into the creation of the bond that it makes me wonder how chance created such bonds to the point that a world was created. Perhaps to me, such thinking seems highly improbably, which mathematically, it is. And in thinking of explosions, it gets me to think that perhaps, intelligent design is not all that incorrect.

This is half-baked and half-explained. I may have to come back to this later.

Living by meself

The perks:
I can walk around in my underwear and my T-shirt on backwards and inside out and no one would say anything.

The downsides:
I could walk out with a T-shirt on backwards and inside out and no one would say anything.

The perks:
Everything I put somewhere is found exactly where I left it.

The downsides:
...including the dishes.

I don't like people. Really.

There are too many people in my life right now and I totally can't deal.

Not sure which "let-me-explain-you-to-you" blogs, personality tests, etc. I was reading, but I can only manage a handful of people in my life. There are too many right now. Far too many.

Blah.

Not to say that I dislike people, I just prefer quality over quantity. Why are there so many people in my life?! Gah.

Privilege

Not in the sense that people think about when you hear the words "white privilege" or whatever. I mean this in the more pure sense of the word - that one has the luck or is blessed with or has the opportunity to do something, see something, experience something for whatever reason/circumstance.

A friend has been going through some stuff and I realized that I have the privilege of being there for her. This is not to say that I've been able to do this with all of my friends, nor will this be the case in the future. However, at this juncture in this particular friend's life, I have had the privilege to be there for her, to help her process certain things (however helpful or unhelpful it is...), and to be emotionally available to do so. I feel lucky to be able to do it and it is oddly not a burden at all.

Unfortunately, this is not the case at all for all my friends - I don't know if it's a matter of dissonance with the way we process and think or if it's simply because there are too may factors to overcome for me to be there (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.) for them but I have not been able to do that for many of my friends. I guess this marks a change in my own maturity (hopefully!) as well as a change in my mentality for what it means to be a good friend.

I don't know where I'm going with this; all I know is that right now, I just feel lucky to be a part of this person's life and I realize that perhaps it is because I care about this person that I'm able to do such things and it feels like a blessing.

I wonder if this is a fraction of what parents feel for their children. Does this explain why they are so willing to go so far for them, when in reality, the returns cannot compare? Not that children are an investment, but there does seem to be a bit of that tit for tat thing with nearly all relationships and parents are so wonderfully giving that nothing really seems to compare with the ideal (or perhaps the over-idealized?) parenting style.

Anyway, I suppose my point is this: instead of looking at certain things as burdens (whether it's something we don't want to do, or something we have to do out of obligation), one can actually turn them around and realize that one is blessed to have the capacity to be able to handle such things or be able to take part in the different cycles of suffering and triumph that makes the reality called life.

Writing

"Writing is a fraught, personal, and scary thing" (I screwed up the quote here somewhere - from a senior colleague and fellow co-worker)

I agree.

Yet when it comes to certain types of writing, I get stuck while others, just flow. Bleh. I needta just write.

Why I do what I do

Sorry for the crappy quality.

The fashion and entertainment industry make a ton of money because a lot of it trickles down into every day life in some way, shape, or form.

I think that anything from the humanities has similar qualities. When people question the value of it, you really only have to look at Marx or Freud to realize that entire countries changed their way of running or justified how they ran things because of thinkers. These people influenced pretty much the world and for some reason, people think that the humanities are useless.

The effect may not be obvious, but it's still to the point where we rethink how we view entire systems of thought, or systems, or anything really.

Humanities are useless. Psh... People just don't know.

A better me

I think I like surrounding myself with people who make me a better person. There are different "categories" of people, though I don't actively put my close people in them (or at least I don't think I do) and I like people who make me want to become a better person. I think that it boils down to life choices and moral values and how it manifests into the person's personality and demeanor.

Some people are leeches, they take what they can from you with little to offer and honestly, I find these types of people exhausting. I don't try to cater to them but somehow it becomes a relationship like that and in the end, I just avoid them altogether.

There are also friendships where nothing is gained and nothing is lost. They're honestly really boring. They exist because of proximity and convenience and they lack depth. I find these to be uncomfortable. They bother me because they feel obligatory more than anything.

I realized I seek out good/deep conversations and I seek out people who are able to draw that out of me. Sometimes I can go into it if I'm in a thoughtful mood, but other times, it's the person I'm with that allows me to delve into the recesses of my brain while picking their brain. I'm not saying that it's all about me and I would hope that I am able to somehow affect the person in a positive way as well but I realize that my relationships are based on how I feel around them and how I feel about the person.

That isn't to say that I don't hang out with people who don't better me - there are all sorts of people out there. I just gravitate towards people who do because they get me to think and as a result, I feel like I am improved and hopefully I do the same for them as well.

Hm. This feels half-baked.

I just like people with depth and people who are able to create depth in a relationship.