Presence

Today's thought project is, as has been before, time.

I had mentioned that time is currency that can never be gained back. Reliving memories costs us the present, regardless of whether those memories are good or bad.

So I've been reading this book called Presence by Amy Cuddy. She gave this famous TED talk on body language and finally came out with a book.

While I'm only in the beginning of the book, when she was talking about having presence, I couldn't help but to also think about being present (i.e. being in the moment). I kept thinking of how people are often engaged or disengaged with the world and how this changes the person we become.

I was also thinking of what I was talking to my friend about earlier today too. Even as we strive to be better people and we're aiming to become a certain way, we mustn't forget to accept ourselves as we are now and that who we are now is still someone that we should not be ashamed of.

I suppose what I mean is that in trying to become a better person or to strive for a "better you" (sounds like a bad Dove advertisement), one should not reject who they are now. Even if we want to become better, we still are who we are at the present and that "who we are right now" is still someone we should embrace.

Time is still not my friend and my mind still doesn't cooperate with me. However, perhaps I am trying too hard to follow a mold that I do not fit into and I need to make things work for me, in my way.

Hidden meanings and things not seen

Most of what happens, happens in our heads.

Obviously the events that we are surrounded by are things that happen to us and are external from us, but the experience of such events is seen, felt, and understood by the individual alone.

Memories are fun to recount with others that one has shared with because they are always remembered slightly differently.

“Remember when…?”
“Oh yeah! Didn’t you…?”
“I completely forgot about that!”

And so forth.

Sometimes the disparity of the experience is great, especially if the worldview of the individuals involved is different. A child and a parent can have incredibly different memories of the same event. The purity of one's experience can also be tainted by the recollection of another, who has a different perception of the same event. It's unfortunate that past events, which should be fixed by the very nature of it being in the past and done, can be recalled in so many different manners. What one experiences at the moment and then recalls later can also differ. It's funny, how our minds change what seems to be an unchangeable past. The perception of a person can poison past events (Oh, my alliteration kills me...).

And then intentions change everything.

Perceived intentions all the more. My intent might have been good or harmless, but if my action is seen to have malicious intent, the receiver or observer of my action will see the action as harmful.
And so misunderstandings occur.

Language sometimes alleviates such misunderstandings but even when people are speaking the same language, the meaning that is understood by the individual can be different.

Body language, cultural language, industry-specific language, and so on. Everything has a language, yet sometimes, I find it short of miraculous that we are able to understand one another.

The dilemmas of the day

I want to wear flip flops but I don't want to get my feet dirty.

I don't want to wear sneakers but I want to keep my feet clean.

Oh the troublesomeness of socks and close-toed shoes...