One of Those Girls

I never knew that I had it in me but I guess if you try hard enough you can.

I was recounting the way I got to know a friend of mine and I realized that that person's image of me is probably the shits. I mean normally, I'm pretty confident about my image with people (I mean I don't know the details, but I'm pretty sure most people think me as friendly, nice and perhaps a little eccentric or at least a little different - though I don't really think I'm all that abnormal - but at least I know they don't have a negative opinion of me). Anyway, I mean there are probably just as many people who have a skewed image of me, but I guess it's just that this time around, I actually care. It kind of sucks. I wonder if a first/second impression is as hard to change as I think it is. I mean, I know I judge by first impressions though I try not to (and by "try" I don't really think I try all that hard unless I have reason to be interested in the person/I want to get to know the person which is pretty rare if I don't have a good first impression of them.......). I mean there are more to people than meets the eye - at least I like to think - but I know a vast majority of the people don't/won't think that way; whatever first impression you give, that's basically the image they have of you. It'll stick. I mean I don't know. I like to think that I'm multi-faceted (there's probably a better word than this...) enough that the first impression of me isn't enough to know who I am but most people don't know that. Is that why I'm so often misunderstood? I mean I suppose I bring that on myself, but I like to think that if a person doesn't take the time to realize that I'm different from whatever first impression they had of me, they aren't really worth the trouble, right? Hm. Perhaps it isn't worth the trouble to try to change this friend's mindset. (Oh the deep, troublesome questions of life)

At any rate, I don't know, I think I've fallen into a category of girls that I thought I would never fall into and in a way, its humiliating. I suppose it's good for my pride since pride is always unnecessary... But still. It kind of sucks. Eh, something else I've learned in life. With this, one grows from the lessons learned, right? Ew. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to learn by doing. It'd just be better for everyone's sake.