Solitude: isolation without the desolation
I don't know why I thought of this while I was sleeping (and I actually remembered it!) but I did. I didn't think of the solitude part until later. I remember I was dreaming about something and then all of a sudden, as if to explain the situation (which I no longer remember), "ISOLATION WITHOUT THE DESOLATION" kind of popped into my head. Weird, huh?
Thought I'd share.
[edit]
From Milan Kundera's Immortality "Solitude: a sweet absence of looks." Out of context, it kind of doesn't make sense but I thought it was interesting that he wrote about the very thing I was thinking about. I wonder if there's some kind of gravitation towards literature that one can relate to? I mean I had no idea that Kundera would write about solitude, but maybe something about the writing style resonated in me that I returned to it (I had started reading it but I started reading a different book so I had put it down).
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
One of Those Girls
I never knew that I had it in me but I guess if you try hard enough you can.
I was recounting the way I got to know a friend of mine and I realized that that person's image of me is probably the shits. I mean normally, I'm pretty confident about my image with people (I mean I don't know the details, but I'm pretty sure most people think me as friendly, nice and perhaps a little eccentric or at least a little different - though I don't really think I'm all that abnormal - but at least I know they don't have a negative opinion of me). Anyway, I mean there are probably just as many people who have a skewed image of me, but I guess it's just that this time around, I actually care. It kind of sucks. I wonder if a first/second impression is as hard to change as I think it is. I mean, I know I judge by first impressions though I try not to (and by "try" I don't really think I try all that hard unless I have reason to be interested in the person/I want to get to know the person which is pretty rare if I don't have a good first impression of them.......). I mean there are more to people than meets the eye - at least I like to think - but I know a vast majority of the people don't/won't think that way; whatever first impression you give, that's basically the image they have of you. It'll stick. I mean I don't know. I like to think that I'm multi-faceted (there's probably a better word than this...) enough that the first impression of me isn't enough to know who I am but most people don't know that. Is that why I'm so often misunderstood? I mean I suppose I bring that on myself, but I like to think that if a person doesn't take the time to realize that I'm different from whatever first impression they had of me, they aren't really worth the trouble, right? Hm. Perhaps it isn't worth the trouble to try to change this friend's mindset. (Oh the deep, troublesome questions of life)
At any rate, I don't know, I think I've fallen into a category of girls that I thought I would never fall into and in a way, its humiliating. I suppose it's good for my pride since pride is always unnecessary... But still. It kind of sucks. Eh, something else I've learned in life. With this, one grows from the lessons learned, right? Ew. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to learn by doing. It'd just be better for everyone's sake.
I was recounting the way I got to know a friend of mine and I realized that that person's image of me is probably the shits. I mean normally, I'm pretty confident about my image with people (I mean I don't know the details, but I'm pretty sure most people think me as friendly, nice and perhaps a little eccentric or at least a little different - though I don't really think I'm all that abnormal - but at least I know they don't have a negative opinion of me). Anyway, I mean there are probably just as many people who have a skewed image of me, but I guess it's just that this time around, I actually care. It kind of sucks. I wonder if a first/second impression is as hard to change as I think it is. I mean, I know I judge by first impressions though I try not to (and by "try" I don't really think I try all that hard unless I have reason to be interested in the person/I want to get to know the person which is pretty rare if I don't have a good first impression of them.......). I mean there are more to people than meets the eye - at least I like to think - but I know a vast majority of the people don't/won't think that way; whatever first impression you give, that's basically the image they have of you. It'll stick. I mean I don't know. I like to think that I'm multi-faceted (there's probably a better word than this...) enough that the first impression of me isn't enough to know who I am but most people don't know that. Is that why I'm so often misunderstood? I mean I suppose I bring that on myself, but I like to think that if a person doesn't take the time to realize that I'm different from whatever first impression they had of me, they aren't really worth the trouble, right? Hm. Perhaps it isn't worth the trouble to try to change this friend's mindset. (Oh the deep, troublesome questions of life)
At any rate, I don't know, I think I've fallen into a category of girls that I thought I would never fall into and in a way, its humiliating. I suppose it's good for my pride since pride is always unnecessary... But still. It kind of sucks. Eh, something else I've learned in life. With this, one grows from the lessons learned, right? Ew. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to learn by doing. It'd just be better for everyone's sake.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Solutions
I hate problems or dilemmas with no solutions.
I don't mean issues that have multiple solutions or other options/routes that can be taken. I mean situations where there is no way to turn it around and no solution can ever be found.
Something that is so irrevocably done that that in and of itself is the solution. I believe in the malleability of results so when the situation becomes one of no solution, if that ending is unfavorable, then suddenly, there is no hope. Is this called regret?
I prefer either the open-ended-there-are-many-solutions-but-no-right-answer-type issues, or the there-is-only-one-right-answer-type situations.
It's unfortunate that some things just cannot be changed or taken back.
I don't mean issues that have multiple solutions or other options/routes that can be taken. I mean situations where there is no way to turn it around and no solution can ever be found.
Something that is so irrevocably done that that in and of itself is the solution. I believe in the malleability of results so when the situation becomes one of no solution, if that ending is unfavorable, then suddenly, there is no hope. Is this called regret?
I prefer either the open-ended-there-are-many-solutions-but-no-right-answer-type issues, or the there-is-only-one-right-answer-type situations.
It's unfortunate that some things just cannot be changed or taken back.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Cleaning my room
For me, it seems that cleaning my room really just consists of rearranging my stuff into different piles so I know where things are.
Voilà! Welcome to the organized chaos called my room.
Voilà! Welcome to the organized chaos called my room.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
One Piece
Apparently me being into anime seems out of character. Whatever that's supposed to mean.
That aside, I think One Piece is epic. I've only seen a handful of music videos, but this has got to be one of the best ones out there:
Seriously.
And all the heartfelt moments in the music video show how epic One Piece really is. I mean seriously, it's just an anime but Eichiro Oda's so freaking good at drawing out the fullest spectrum of human emotion and sentimentality of moments. His creativity never ceases to amaze me too.
I can and can't wait for this anime to end. It'll take a couple more years though thankfully so I might as well savor what I can while I can. It's like reading a good book. It ends and you can't get over how awesome each moment was. Almost no word, no scene or action is wasted. Everything has meaning and purpose. This is why I like reading and why I love anime. Filter through the bad and find the gems that are worth your time. In a way, it's kind of like friendship too. And life, I guess.
That aside, I think One Piece is epic. I've only seen a handful of music videos, but this has got to be one of the best ones out there:
Seriously.
And all the heartfelt moments in the music video show how epic One Piece really is. I mean seriously, it's just an anime but Eichiro Oda's so freaking good at drawing out the fullest spectrum of human emotion and sentimentality of moments. His creativity never ceases to amaze me too.
I can and can't wait for this anime to end. It'll take a couple more years though thankfully so I might as well savor what I can while I can. It's like reading a good book. It ends and you can't get over how awesome each moment was. Almost no word, no scene or action is wasted. Everything has meaning and purpose. This is why I like reading and why I love anime. Filter through the bad and find the gems that are worth your time. In a way, it's kind of like friendship too. And life, I guess.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Reading
On a completely different note, I love reading.
It makes me more interesting and it makes my life more colorful. Well, more than colorful, it adds depth and dimension into my life. I suppose to continue with the color analogy, it adds more hues and light. More contrast perhaps? Or less. Either way, it makes it more interesting.
And Murakami, though I don't like that he used a similar protagonist from Norwegian Wood, is still a freaking genius. I wish there was a better way to emphasize his genius. I don't know if it's a matter of translation that makes the way he expresses things so beautiful, but he's just brilliant. He doesn't seem as affected as Kundera too. Kundera strikes me (from the glimpse of him I got in the author's note at the end of The Joke) as the type of guy who in some ways has a stick up his ass (for the lack of a better way of putting it). I mean he's very very precise, which is good but it almost seems in a pretentious no-one-understands-me kind of way. Which I suppose could be taken in a good and a bad way. Eh. He's still one of my favorite authors. Man, with all this good writing, it makes me wonder when I'll be able to read everything that I want to in this world. Heh.
I love the world of books.
It makes me more interesting and it makes my life more colorful. Well, more than colorful, it adds depth and dimension into my life. I suppose to continue with the color analogy, it adds more hues and light. More contrast perhaps? Or less. Either way, it makes it more interesting.
And Murakami, though I don't like that he used a similar protagonist from Norwegian Wood, is still a freaking genius. I wish there was a better way to emphasize his genius. I don't know if it's a matter of translation that makes the way he expresses things so beautiful, but he's just brilliant. He doesn't seem as affected as Kundera too. Kundera strikes me (from the glimpse of him I got in the author's note at the end of The Joke) as the type of guy who in some ways has a stick up his ass (for the lack of a better way of putting it). I mean he's very very precise, which is good but it almost seems in a pretentious no-one-understands-me kind of way. Which I suppose could be taken in a good and a bad way. Eh. He's still one of my favorite authors. Man, with all this good writing, it makes me wonder when I'll be able to read everything that I want to in this world. Heh.
I love the world of books.
Potential
What's the difference between being able to do something and not doing it, and not being able to do something at all?
The obvious difference is that with the former there is the potential of being able to do that something whereas the latter indicates that the opportunity/option was never there to begin with. However, if you really think about it, if you don't do it, what's to say that you really can? I mean aside for the obvious mundane every day things, let's take something more difficult. Getting into law school. Graduating from med school. Becoming good at surfing. Becoming really good at an instrument. Learning a new language. The list goes on. I'm talking about the things that require patience and diligence. The things that you need to work on every day without rest. More and more I realize that in the world of adults, there are many "I can do that, I just don't do it"s and instead of the resigned admitting of "I just can't do it"s. This comes not because of a certain lack in ability as much as a matter of a lack of focus, concentration, patience and the diligence to keep at something. Isn't that essentially what separates the genius/talented from the common population?
I mean there's that stupid quote - something about 1% genius and 99% hard work and I think that hard work is in and of itself a kind of genius or at least a really hard-to-come-by talent.
Is it because it's something that I lack that I see it as valuable?
At any rate, now I think that's the way I'm going to view it. If I say I can do it, I had better prove it. Perhaps it's an age thing, but I think that it's more because I see it happen a lot. And before I would accept it as a truth, but if it doesn't really happen, it isn't, is it? Though on the flip side, I don't think I should judge others for lacking this ability, simply because some people really do see it as a truth - they can do it, they can see themselves doing it, they just don't. There are a multitude of reasons that people don't do things that they could do (and they are very logical reasons too) so in the end, I suppose it really just applies to me.
I wonder if I have it in me to become considerably better at viola. Hm.
The obvious difference is that with the former there is the potential of being able to do that something whereas the latter indicates that the opportunity/option was never there to begin with. However, if you really think about it, if you don't do it, what's to say that you really can? I mean aside for the obvious mundane every day things, let's take something more difficult. Getting into law school. Graduating from med school. Becoming good at surfing. Becoming really good at an instrument. Learning a new language. The list goes on. I'm talking about the things that require patience and diligence. The things that you need to work on every day without rest. More and more I realize that in the world of adults, there are many "I can do that, I just don't do it"s and instead of the resigned admitting of "I just can't do it"s. This comes not because of a certain lack in ability as much as a matter of a lack of focus, concentration, patience and the diligence to keep at something. Isn't that essentially what separates the genius/talented from the common population?
I mean there's that stupid quote - something about 1% genius and 99% hard work and I think that hard work is in and of itself a kind of genius or at least a really hard-to-come-by talent.
Is it because it's something that I lack that I see it as valuable?
At any rate, now I think that's the way I'm going to view it. If I say I can do it, I had better prove it. Perhaps it's an age thing, but I think that it's more because I see it happen a lot. And before I would accept it as a truth, but if it doesn't really happen, it isn't, is it? Though on the flip side, I don't think I should judge others for lacking this ability, simply because some people really do see it as a truth - they can do it, they can see themselves doing it, they just don't. There are a multitude of reasons that people don't do things that they could do (and they are very logical reasons too) so in the end, I suppose it really just applies to me.
I wonder if I have it in me to become considerably better at viola. Hm.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)