Why I do what I do

Sorry for the crappy quality.

The fashion and entertainment industry make a ton of money because a lot of it trickles down into every day life in some way, shape, or form.

I think that anything from the humanities has similar qualities. When people question the value of it, you really only have to look at Marx or Freud to realize that entire countries changed their way of running or justified how they ran things because of thinkers. These people influenced pretty much the world and for some reason, people think that the humanities are useless.

The effect may not be obvious, but it's still to the point where we rethink how we view entire systems of thought, or systems, or anything really.

Humanities are useless. Psh... People just don't know.

A better me

I think I like surrounding myself with people who make me a better person. There are different "categories" of people, though I don't actively put my close people in them (or at least I don't think I do) and I like people who make me want to become a better person. I think that it boils down to life choices and moral values and how it manifests into the person's personality and demeanor.

Some people are leeches, they take what they can from you with little to offer and honestly, I find these types of people exhausting. I don't try to cater to them but somehow it becomes a relationship like that and in the end, I just avoid them altogether.

There are also friendships where nothing is gained and nothing is lost. They're honestly really boring. They exist because of proximity and convenience and they lack depth. I find these to be uncomfortable. They bother me because they feel obligatory more than anything.

I realized I seek out good/deep conversations and I seek out people who are able to draw that out of me. Sometimes I can go into it if I'm in a thoughtful mood, but other times, it's the person I'm with that allows me to delve into the recesses of my brain while picking their brain. I'm not saying that it's all about me and I would hope that I am able to somehow affect the person in a positive way as well but I realize that my relationships are based on how I feel around them and how I feel about the person.

That isn't to say that I don't hang out with people who don't better me - there are all sorts of people out there. I just gravitate towards people who do because they get me to think and as a result, I feel like I am improved and hopefully I do the same for them as well.

Hm. This feels half-baked.

I just like people with depth and people who are able to create depth in a relationship.

The world of academia in Literature

"Daaaang" was the first thing out of my mouth after I read two articles about the most recent (I think?) edition of Ulysses by James Joyce. There are so many editions, so many different versions, with seemingly minor changes (that really change the way it's read), that it seems that one could argue for and against any of the editions.

However, in this case, the condemner has a pretty solid argument and rips the 19841986 edition apart. There are references to shoddy work, sloppiness, lack of scholarship, improper research, and all sorts of general and specific insults that point to the lack of quality and thus, the lack of intelligence in the people who undertook this project. And he's horrifically mean about it.

The people try at some kind of retort, but he responds with a story that's worse because there's wordplay that spits on how badly they bungled Ulysses. I can't say it's petty though I can see it going down that road, but geesh, no punches were pulled!

The world of literature academics is kind of scary! Oh, we'll see where this all goes...

The perks of going to a private graduate institution

Lots of free stuff: those cool highlighters that have liquid ink, a usb that was attached to our name tags, post-it notes! (those things are gold!!), the obligatory pens, free events (with meals!), crazy supportive staff and faculty, and the list continues...

If I was one of those power blogger people, I'd probably illustrate my point with pictures and all of that but it's really too troublesome. I just know that I'm benefiting from my education (though really those little free perks are built into the tuition....). But hey, I'll take it. :)

Oh, moving.

Unpacking for me is like a treasure hunt. I open up one of these chests in hopes to find gold and precious jewels in the form of kitchen goods and useful items.

It just goes to show how awesome of a packing job I did. Hahaha. At least it keeps things interesting for me.

Hello! It feels like it's been a while

Transitions transitions.

I don't have anything interesting to say except that transitions make a person busy. Moving/settling into a different country/becoming "fully" independent makes one quite busy.

Excited for changes.

Ack, but there's so much to do.

The right thing at the right time

Ever make lists of goals that you hope to keep? This can be in the form of New Year's resolutions, mid-year crisis (oh no! I haven't kept any of my New Year's resolutions!), turning point in various eras of one's life (end of high school/beginning of college, end of college, end of a career, the turning point of a career, retirement, etc.), and so on and so forth. Have you ever looked back at those goals (stumbling across the list years later) to realize (with horror) that nothing has changed?

That happened to me when I graduated college. I looked at a list I made when I graduate high school and realized that I didn't get better or become a better person. I had gotten worse. I had obtained some nasty habits, forgotten a lot of good ones, and in general had become a person that I wasn't proud of. Granted, I wasn't living a destructive lifestyle in the sense that I wasn't hurting anyone (myself included) but I also wasn't living an active life (physically, mentally, and emotionally). It's the kind of stasis that comes from coasting and I realized that I had wanted more from myself and I had hoped to gain much more in college. I don't mean to say that I didn't gain anything in college because I learned a lot (in obvious ways) and I definitely enjoyed the college experience. However, from a self-developmental point of view, nothing changed and I had only gotten worse.

I think somewhere along the line after that I realized that I needed to be more active about the person I wanted to be. If I want to change, I can't keep thinking "Oh, I'll do it tomorrow." because in the end, I'm putting off the person I want to become and when that happens, well, I'll simply continue to be unhappy or dissatisfied with the current me.

There's always that balance that one must have between bettering oneself and being happy with who one is because in constantly trying to improve oneself, there's almost an inherent thought that the current self is not good enough and thus needs improvement. I think I went through cycles of self-deprecation and contentment with my self for quite some time until I realized the two are not as closely connected as one thinks.

At any rate, I could get into this huge long (wordy and to be honest, boring) testimonial about how I changed my way of thinking but the point is this: I recently came across another one of my lists and realized that of the 3 things I listed, I had accomplished (more or less) two. To be (somewhat) active in changing myself, I had progressed.

Life is supposed to be an active engagement of the self with not only the world but with oneself in constantly encouraging to better oneself and the environment around oneself. It may not always happen, but with effort comes results.