It's unfortunate, but I associate many adults with a lack of the following:
Honesty. Purity of intention.
There have been two very distinct cases where people have tried to take advantage of me. Why is it that when a child does it, it seems more forgivable? Is it because of their seeming lack of experience and knowledge of the world? Conversely, is that why I feel that adults are more deplorable for having the knowledge and experience, yet deliberately choosing to do something that'll just blow up in their face?
It was a simple situation really.
Basically I'm subbing for someone. People know that and ask things of me that they know the answer to (which is pretty much 'no') so as to take advantage of the fact that I don't really know what I'm doing.
It's honestly quite disappointing of humanity really. I mean I suppose I expected it, but to see it up close and personal... It's ugly and distasteful.
I think this is part of the reason I hate dealing with people who want something from me and I'm even less inclined to give that something to them, whether it's a favor or food... or anything really. (Of course in cases where it's friends and whatever, I'm perfectly fine with people asking - it's just with people I don't know who come to me solely to milk me for whatever they want without any real consideration to me as a person or the time spent for their sake - those are the people that irritate me to no end. Inconveniencing people is one of my pet peeves...)
I suppose I find it hard to understand why people can't be more honest. I mean, granted, no one's perfect, honesty pays of in the end. To see dishonest people and to reveal them for it - I find it disgusting. I hope never to be like that.
One of the people in question has massive problems with one of her children and honestly, I can see why (as horrible as it is to say). I wouldn't want my mom to be like that either. I'd be ashamed of her to the point where I'd be ashamed of being a part of that family. I think that's one of the worst things that can happen in a family... for a child to be ashamed of his parent(s) not for something unreasonable, but for their inherent lack of what I'm going to call "goodness."
I mean for something so small, I wonder if I am spending too much time thinking about it and I may be. Yet, quite sadly, I feel justified in doing so because a breach in a small matter of trust means that the person, by nature is deceptive. You never want to work with those kinds of people.
In seeing the ugliness of other people, I too become ugly. I wish ill upon those people in what I think is the worst way possible - through humiliation. A staggering fall that forces them to see their folly and be on their knees in brokenness asking for forgiveness. In such a way that they change and never commit such a heinous act again.
I suppose I'm over-exaggerating (as usual), but in many ways, it's these little things that rot our society. It creates a stench and fouls up what used to be decent and good. I feel like such deception is what creates a lack of trust in society and a constant questioning of a person's ulterior motives. Yet, what's the alternate solution? Humans are by nature selfish and self-serving. To act out of trust implies acting out of honesty and one can't get what they seek through such methods. Hence the two-facedness.
Perhaps the most irritating bit is that there's little I can do about it, except look the person in the eye with disappointment and simply shake my head at them, turning myself into this hypocritical judge of character who when it really comes down to it, is really no different from her.
I don't like judging people. I don't feel that I have the right to judge people, yet shit like this happens and I'm simply disappointed.
Eh. I suppose arguably everyone has their flaws and what one finds deplorable, others may find tolerable. It's the same way for me and what others think of me...
Acceptance. That is the key to stress-free living, in my opinion.
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