I am not myself

I am not surrounded by my friends; I rarely have time to go out. By Saturday, all I want to do is sleep and veg (and do some reading for my classes - go to a cafe with a nice view and immerse myself in that which I love).

So.

Being someone that is influenced by pretty much everything, I am influenced by the people I am around (though I daresay that everyone is, most people don't like to acknowledge that they are.. yet we are products of society or I suppose a different way to look at it is to say that we are the sum parts of that which created us - our background, upbringing, past, moral/immoral/amoral influences, media, etc. Eh. Another discussion for another day).

I suppose I still am me, but I do notice when I pick up on language idiosyncrasies or mannerisms of other people.

For the most part, it doesn't really bother me, but other times, it kind of does.

Bleh. I suppose this is why I want to be surrounded by academics, though I worry that they will be the type who are pedantic. But then again, I suppose if one could draw out the genuine in such people, it wouldn't matter, would it?

In the end, the conclusion that I often come to and try to preach against, is that I am too self-conscious for my own good.

Korea does make me that way, but I am the one that notices it. In trying to ignore it, I simply acknowledge the existence of its presence; I don't address the problem and thus it never goes away.

Aren't adults supposed to be over this by now or does it just get worse?