Voices inside my head

I think I've become more pessimistic in my general outlook on life, but I've definitely also become more inspired - at least that's what the voices in my head tell me.

I suppose what I mean is that I don't necessarily think the best in people anymore (I think I did okay if I've lasted this long ^^) in that I think that now I acknowledge the reality of people's actions. If a person has ill intent, I can now pick up on it. That's probably what it is. I hope it doesn't turn into cynicism though.

I think what it is though, is really my thoughts in terms of how I phrase things. For instance, "these are my thoughts on this topic." sounds perfectly sane and normal. "The voices in my head tell me these things on this topic." sounds crazy and out of control. Probably because someone who doesn't seem to be oneself is telling one things. Honestly though, aren't thoughts kind of like that? When you have conflicting thoughts and feelings, isn't it just that? The voices inside your head are trying to overrule whatever you desire to do. If that is articulated - "I want to eat ice cream" - and you logic yourself out of it - "But I'll get fat" - isn't that a voice that is simply yours telling you that you shouldn't eat ice cream?

I mean it just sounds creepy and weird when such thoughts are expressed in the above manner, but if you think about it, it really is simply a manipulation of a situation to sound one way or another. That's how in a court case, the criminal can be portrayed as the victim, regardless of how heinous the crime.

I've come to realize though that my portrayal of such situations has become less favorable. I don't look at things in such an optimistic light, I guess. It's not good because I need to learn to package things to make them what they are rather than putting in a negative light. I think the hardest thing to do (perhaps even impossible) is to try to present something in a purely neutral manner. I think a lot of thinkers would argue that this is impossible (though I disagree).

At any rate, rather than being more pessimistic, I think I've just changed the way I talk about things and it isn't put in the best light (is that pessimism?) and it reflects a change in my general outlook.

So how does this relate to inspiration? Well if I've started to see things in a more negative light, there's more room for despair and hopelessness in the sense of "well if things suck so much, what's the point of even trying?". Yet I definitely don't feel that way. Perhaps in acknowledging the reality of things (can being more pessimistic be considered as being more real?), I've also realized what I need to do to overcome such things (whether it's negative thinking, mean people, etc.).

Hm. Not sure what it is. I suppose (as is the case with the last entry) I might have to come back to this, but for now, I shall leave it as such.