Actually, I don't think it was my theory - it was probably something I read somewhere or had gotten influenced by and now have been trying (sometimes unsuccessfully) to live out. Anyway, it's from a TED talk by Brene Brown from here.
Or you can watch it here:
So this had other good nuggets and I feel like I could probably relate this to Christianity it some way (apparently doing that has a name - I forget what it is though..) but it resonates pretty strongly with Christian ideology.
Anyway, this is what I got out of the lecture that aligned with what I had been thinking about with emotion/hardship/suffering and the like:
The greater the pain, the greater the joy. The greater the emotion, the more depth you feel in life, the more you realize the humanity in others and the less you can hate, blame, or reject a person (and perhaps yourself as well).
I feel like I still don't have the answers to how exactly to treat people (and I don't think there's a singular answer for dealing with people, though one can try to formulate various techniques and/or approaches based on theory and observation). And I still have issues living it out when hard-to-answer problems occur but it's interesting that one thing the talk said was that - you can't turn off the emotions because those problems exist. You can't just shut out the hurt, pain, anger, etc. because other emotions will go too, such as joy, happiness and the like. I think one thing to keep in mind is that bad things pass and that through such deeply hurtful or painful experiences, one (usually) becomes stronger and has a deeper understanding of what life is about and of others' experiences.
The depth in experience and emotion I think stems from a lot of this kind of thinking because if one just dwells on and remembers the painful, that means that there was no personal growth or learning.
Anyway, the difficulty of saying such seemingly encouraging things is that if someone is going through something incredibly painful or through a lot of suffering, they'll probably want to slap the person saying such things because it minimizes the the depth of hurt/pain/suffering. I mean you can't tell a person that things will get better if they feel like they're surrounded by darkness. And it's a little presumptuous to say because no one can predict the future. It's not only cliche, it shows a lack of understanding of that person's emotions.
This is why I feel like I still have difficulty truly living out a life of vulnerability and by extension, compassion.
I don't want to say that I'm one of those "wholehearted" people because I feel like I'm bragging and I know that I have my own set of personal issues but I like to think that I'm working towards those qualities so that I can have that sense not only of worthiness but by extension a deeper sense of joy and contentment.
I don't know though. I do have this thing with the whole "depth of experience." But what does that mean really?
To experience something and truly be there and be able to feel and absorb the experience for what it is - knowing that something good is happening and being able to appreciate it at the time for what it is, or to relish in the joy of the moment, the sadness of the moment, etc. I suppose it has to do with living in the moment - the ridiculously overused "carpe diem" type thing but would that be depth?
Well, this one needs more chewing, I think. I tried to explain it to my cousin and failed miserably, which means that I don't know what I'm talking about (or thinking about) when it comes to having depth in one's life.
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